Debspeacework’s Blog

I keep wondering if there are ways to make more money.  I have heard over and over about blogging.  I have done it for years, for free.  Now I will try it as a paying gig.

I want to see this movie.  I think it is a journey I need to go on.  But, with about an extra $100 in my pocket, I don’t see myself running away for a year anytime soon.

What can I do to recreate this experience here at home.  That is my job.  Figure out how to replicate the process in my own world.

is it possible.  Lets see.  I am going to see the movie tomorrow.  Then I will be back to write about the possibilities.

I anticipated not being able to shut my mouth today.  I had a meeting and was afraid I would not let myself shut up.  I did.  What else am I believing I cannot do, but indeed I can?

I need to think and think again.

Night

Well, a new week has begun.  I have a lot to do and too much to do.  That is where I find myself often–feeling overwhelmed.

What will I do about it?

Close my eyes.  Think of the best way to spend my day and transfer it to the best way to live my life.

Off to the world.

I have been at this for a year, on and off.  I sit down here to write about my personal conquest against me, and it works for a while and then I go back to where I started.

Here I go again.

What are my problems, issues?

The same as a few years ago:

• Money–2 months after bankruptcy I am in a worse place.  How can that be?
• Weight–I am up 10 pounds in the past month.
• House–I am again a victim of CHAOs–Can’f have anyone over syndrome
• Future–I am hating work.  I need a change.
• Me–Who, what, when, where, why–so many questions, yet, when will I start to work on them?

Who–who am I to be and when will I decide to look into it?  My God, I am 51 years old, when will I begin to work on it?  At 60?  70?   In the next life?

What–What is keeping me stuck?

When–is it important enough that I take center stage?

Where–do I need to live, work, play?

Why–am I living this way when I am smart, capable.

Tonight I am going to do some laundry and dishes.  Tonight I am going to plan.  Tonight I am going to try, again, to be the start of the life I want and deserve.

Just a short post today–I tried acupuncture today for the first time. Is that why I am still up? Is that why I have been cranky as hell all day? Maybe it is just brining out the best in me. yuck yuck! Good night all.

I believe in the power of the laws of attraction.  I believe it because I have seen it work and will again soon.

I started working on my business plan a few months ago and have had nothing but trouble writing it.  I need to have one completed to graduate and take the certification class for life coaching.  I want it, I believe I can be a great coach, but couldn’t write the plan.

Ever been there?

Now I have a dream.  The Metamorphysis Center for women.  I can see it in my dreams, the layout and guess what?  When I began conceptionalizing the business plan for this, it flowed like nothing I have ever written before.

Now I know I am where I need to be.  Pointed in the way that I need to aim toward. 

Tonight I am going to complete my dream board.  I am excited.  I will write again soon and post a picture of my completed project board.

Congrats ME!

Have you ever noticed that when you make a decision, everyone has an opinion that makes you question your goal–or at least that is part of their reason to spout.

My “questioner” right now is my son.  The great, ripe age of 13, know it all and tryer of my patience.  Today he is in trouble, not big trouble.  He didn’t rob a store, hit a friend, cuss me out,  slap down his niece.  He has just gotten his way for so long that he hates when he can’t get it.  He was a surprise and the family treated him that way.  Including me.  Zach doesn’t want to clean his mess, it’s ok, they grow up so fast that this is the fun part again.  Zach doesn’t like what I cooked for supper, that is ok, I’ll make him some chicken nuggets–afterall, my dad always made me clean my plate and I hated it. The list goes on and on.

Today his sister took him shopping, not for mother’s day or anything, but for the theatre.  I am ok with that.  But, he only wanted to go because I made him sweep the kitchen floor for being mouthy.  He was mouthy afteerwards but I let him go–I needed a time out.

Just when I am trying to work out issues, another pops up.

Why or why does it always have to happen!

Mine is big, real big.  I open wide all of the time and bite off more than I can chew.

Right now my mouth is full of:

1. parenting–got a 13 year old that is getting mouthy on MySpace and not realizing the consequences.
2. daughtering–my mom needs me more and I don’t have more to give.
3. employeeing–end of the month stuff; I have about 8 potential volunteers that need interviews; a fundraiser the end of the month that is growing faster than I can imagine and a desk that is swimming in all these projects.
4. life coaching–I ran an ad last month and got alot of responses–now I do not have the time to schedule the group and get it started.

What to do, what to do?  I got it!  Tonight I am going to sleep and let the stuff slide for now.  Hopefully night will be restful and tomorrow will be bright and new.